Thursday, April 1, 2010

My journey thus far...

I know I have been abandoning my blog for like centuries, my bad, but i just do not have anything interesting to blog about. Even if I do, I do not have the time to do it anyway.

Last few weeks has been a crazy one for me. Workload is like neverending despite me putting on extra work hours everynight, sometimes including Saturdays too, which by right is my holidays. Not to mentioned, those extra hours put in is like giving charity (cuz im not paid for it) Bummer!

I have always wanted to fulfil one my childhood dream (not gonna share with you which one yet) and this time I finally mutter my courage to go for it. I did my best research hoping I will succeed but alas, I did not made it.

Yeah, of course I was heartbroken and all, but there's nothing I can do about it. I tried to do a post mortem to find out why did I fail, and hopefully I'm heading to the right decision.

Right now I'm trying my best to minimize my chances of failure by doing everything I can to eliminate/reduce my weakness. Of course, I do not have any idea if I will succeed the next time.

Yet, suddenly I think I won't make it again (yeah I'm quite a demotivator as I keep thinking that I will fail ALL the time) can't help it, competition is stiff, man! And I DO have many many weaknesses afterall.

So right now I am wondering why is it that hard to fulfil my dream? Why is it this hard to reach for my star? Despite all that I've done, if in the end the result is still the same, is it worth all the trouble that I went through?

Almost thinking of quitting now, but then, I won't be able to live with myself if I do now. However, I do not know if I can take the blow if I fail again for the second time.

What should I do?

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